wrapping up oscar coverage
The big trends we saw at the Oscars were asymmetrical necklines and strapless dresses. Before we say good-bye, though, we have to make sure to cover ...
The Good
Gwyneth Paltrow in Zac Posen, courtesy oscar.com
Rachel Weisz in Vera Wang, courtesy oscar.com
Reese Witherspoon in Olivier Theyskens for Nina Ricci, courtesy oscar.com
The Bland
Rinko Kikuchi in Chanel Haute Couture, courtesy oscar.com
Jessica Biel in Oscar de la Renta, courtesy oscar.com
In Biel's case, the color was spot-on for 2007's spring and autumn trends, but there's something about the execution that was lacking. Plus my boyfriend's first comment when he saw her was, "She's not wearing a bra!" You know it's bad when a man who can barely properly identify undergarments can tell.
Beyonce in Giorgio Armani Prive, courtesy oscar.com
In pictures where you see only Beyonce's top half, she looks great. Then you see her strike that pose and she suddenly looks like a streetwalker.
Jennifer Lopez in Marchesa, courtesy oscar.com
OK, there's nothing wrong with this dress. It's a very pretty dress. But for some reason, I just don't like it. She looks like a rich, pregnant woman in the '70s.
And the Ugly
Jada Pinkett Smith in Carolina Herrera, courtesy oscar.com
Let's not even discuss the fact that this ensemble looks like it's from 1999. The gown is doing a serious disservice to Pinkett Smith's breasts, and there is just no reason a woman should tolerate that. She's hot! She's a mom! She has a wonderful family! She should not have to carry around four boobs, all of which look like they belong on a bodybuilder, on the biggest night of the year!
Anne Hathaway in Valentino, courtesy oscar.com
Anne Hathaway in Valentino, courtesy oscar.com
Anne gets two pictures, so that you can admire both of the big, hideous, black velvet bows on her dress.
Kirsten Dunst in Chanel Haute Couture, courtesy oscar.comDunst looks like a drowned poodle. However, she is positively the picture of perfection next to this Bond girl's hot mess:
Eva Green in Givenchy, courtesy oscar.com
3 comments:
Dear Nicole: You are cuuuute. You forgot to mention that Jessica Biel's belt is RETARDED. Love Paaaaaula.
You thought Gwenyth looked good? I thought she looked like the drapery from "The Golden Girls". Color was not doing her any favors that night.
Gwen is gorgeous!
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